This is the second half of “The End of the Line/As Far As We Go.” I felt that they belonged together, but not in the same post.
My friend Leica (pronounced like Lisa) for the past two weeks has been performing “Perfect/Complete.” She started with a dot on a twelve foot canvas, drew a circle around that dot, then drew a circle around the previous circle and thus continued with her performance. My friend, Rick, took the above photo on day three (I believe) of this. She dedicated at least eight hours each day to the performance.
As is seen in the photo, the circles are hardly smooth. They have bumps and dips and anything else that a circle can have. Imperfect by any mathematician’s standard. However, they are undeniably circles.
It resembles the cross-section of a tree trunk. A perfect creation with imperfect circles. Precise perfection is something people create, but rarely exists in nature.
Perfection is often synonymous with flawless. An alternative definition that is sometimes better is complete or whole. Christ’s seemingly impossible command, “Be ye therefore perfect” (Matthew 5:48 KJV), takes on new meaning with this definition. The commandment is not to be flawless, but to be whole, to complete ourselves.
Completion can be found in becoming all that we can become, in finding every personality trait of our soul and adding it into the circle. I am gay, and that is a part of my circle. If it were to be removed or covered the circle would be incomplete, imperfect.
Many people disagree, believing that identifying as LGBTQIA is something that develops as you grow or that it is a choice. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that as long as I have liked anyone I have liked men. It is a part of my circle.
We are all drawing circles striving for perfection and wholeness. Regardless of personal beliefs, we want to improve, whatever that may mean for any individual. If I were to undertake the endeavor as Leica did to create this our circles would be similar, and from a distance you couldn’t see a difference, but if you were to try and superimpose one on top of the other they would be completely incompatible.
To try and force your own individual circles upon someone else is offensive to everything that went into their development. We can certainly allow others to help us create our circles and attain our perfection, but in the end they cannot do it for us. Our circles only work for us.
This means that my answers need to fit into my circles and I cannot inflict them upon others. That doesn’t mean I can’t provide input and assistance, maybe even express my opinions (*gasp* not allowed!), but I can’t make my answers work for them. To do so would be not only remarkably egotistical, but also incredibly rude and not likely to help anyone.
In understanding others I find completion. In July I will start training to volunteer with The Trevor Project on Trevor Chat. If there is anything that I can do to help prevent suicide I want to do it.
What happened with my relative was tragic. I can’t say how far along in the circles, how complete they were, but I have seen the effects of this in my family and it just hurts. Hopefully my relative has found a greater ability to complete themself without physical restrictions. As far as we go, I pray that we are whole.